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You can't open your linen closet for fear an avalanche of tiny shampoos, soaps and body lotions will crush you.
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You verbally abuse your mailman if there are no free samples delivered to you that day.
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You physically abuse your spouse if he/she buys full sized personal products in lieu of using those tiny samples you got in the mail.
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You've actually digested a vitamin supplement, even though you have no idea what it was, just because you got it for free.
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All your baby shower gifts in the last ten years have been baskets made up from free samples you've collected online.
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You outwardly giggle at people in Best Buy, Circuit City or like stores, buying full commercial software packages at retail prices.
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Your mailbox had to recently be replaced after collapsing under the weight of junk you receive every day.
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Your kids have threatened to disown you if you give them one more free coloring book you downloaded online.
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Your neighbors tend to gather at your mailbox to see what you got that day.
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You have enough free razors to shave the entire United States Army for the next two and a half years.
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Your mailman has more than once filed a union grievance due to lower back problems from carrying your daily bounty of freebies to your door.
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Your medicine cabinet looks strangely like the cosmetics sample counter at Macy's.
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You used tweezers at least once to try and get to the product in a free lipstick sample.
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You've rubbed a cardboard fragrance sample on your body to see how it smells on you.
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The only software you've ever bought for your computer is a high tech form filler.
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Your grandkids go early to see Santa to ask him to make your computer break so they can get real presents this year.
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You know a Brandarama ad just by looking at the ad text.
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Your freebie site bookmarks resemble a card index at the Library of Congress.
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You lost your broadband connection for a week and had to go on antidepressants.
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You dog or cat hasn't eaten store bought food since 1998.
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Your wall calendars all have pictures of tool and die products on them, even though you wouldn't know what a tool and die product is if it jumped up and bit you (for those that do know - pardon the bad pun).
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You have over 50 flea and tick collars, even though you've never owned a pet in your life.
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You have a "Hall of Fame" cabinet in your house for your best all time free samples.
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You get physically ill if you have to buy shampoo at retail price.
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Your seasonings cabinet resembles the one at Outback Steakhouse.
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Your house looks like an over loaded Dollar store.
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You've filled out enough online surveys in your lifetime to qualify for the Nielsen Hall of Fame.
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You've made more than $50 at one of your garage sales solely from the sale of free samples.
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Your post office is considering passing local legislation banning you from the Internet.
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You have enough MyPoints rewards to buy Iowa.
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Your husband thinks your body lotions brand name is FREE.
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You've had the same stain on your living room carpet for over a year because that stain removal sample still hasn't come yet.
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You have your mailbox insured with Lloyds of London.
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You have a box full of miscellaneous carpet, tile, cloth, paper, glass and insulation samples you can't use but refuse to throw out.
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Your school supplies shopping consists of 12 hour sessions online, 3 months prior to September.
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You have 25 samples of hearing aid batteries but do not use, or know anyone who uses a hearing aid. |
Well, did you pass? Don't worry if you did, you're in fine company. There are loads of us out there, so
you're definitely not alone. Just think, if it wasn't for us, who would snap up all that cool free stuff out
there? Long live online freebies!!!!
You May Be a Freebies Junkie If....
An article by CoolFreebieLinks
July 24, 2008
This article may be freely copied and distributed as long as you give proper credit to the
author which is coolfreebielinks.com.
This article is a fun muse on freebie addicts. It's geared along the lines of Jeff Foxworthy's "You May Be
a Redneck". Are you someone who can't go a day without searching your favorite sites and forums to find
free samples, freebies and free stuff offers? Do you get upset if there's no free goodies in your mailbox each
day? Are your kitchen, bathroom and bedroom cabinets and drawers filled to the brim with 1oz. free samples of
shampoo, body lotions, toothpaste and soaps? Have you never paid for a single software program or utility on
your computer? If you answered yes to any of the above, you may be a freebies junkie. Check out the funny
snippets below to see if you truly qualify....
You May Be a Freebies Junkie If....
